Police Blotter

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The Nordsjælland Police issued an important bulletin Saturday evening:

In English: “We’re currently receiving a lot of similar reports about a group of 11 people and change having dealt a beating to a group of the same size. The crime scene was reportedly a big grass lawn, and the victims were reportedly Welsh.”

Quickly followed up by:

“We are aware of the episode but you are kindly requested to stop reporting it to us, since the crime didn’t take place in our jurisdiction.”

For those who are slow on the uptake:

Not only that, but they did with a team held together by duct tape, yarn, spit, and Scotch tape, as injuries took out top player after top player—and the team was already without star midfielder Christian Eriksen and Yussuf Poulsen.

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