We’re living in a Kurt Vonnegut novel

I’ve been struggling to understand the verious stupidities and absurdities of the world for a while now, but two two stories about immigration—one American, one Danish—have finally opened my eyes: we’re living in a Kurt Vonnegut novel. For the kids in the back row: I’m not saying Kurt Vonnegut is god, or even a god,…

Biden’s address to the nation

NOTE: The following is my own transcription of a recording of Joe Biden’s address to the nation on the “Soul of the Nation,” scheduled for delivery this evening from Independence Hall in Philadelphia. Do not ask how I came into possession of that recording hours before the event. My fellow Armenians. During the campaign I…

Sound On

I’ve decided to try something new. I’m going to begin posting audio recordings of my posts. It’s just an experiment, at this point: something to play around during this vacation while I have a little more time than usual on my hands. I worked a lot with sound design back in my theatre days, but…

The Right’s Having All the Fun While the Left Tortures Itself Trying to Redefine Fun in a Way That Proves the Right Isn’t Having Fun

Politico sends one of its intrepid explorers to the very edge of civilization, where he meets two even more intrepid explorers who have in fact pressed beyond the edge and into the darkness beyond—whence they have returned (alive!) to tell their tales of wonderment from the world of the political right. One wonderment in particular…

The Tivoli Experiment

Tivoli Gardens, one of the jewels of Copenhagen, opened earlier this month: it’s renowned as possibly one of the best places on earth. One of Tivoli’s long-running features is Fredagsrock (“Friday Rock”), a series of Friday evening rock concerts on their open-air main stage through the spring and summer. The concert on April 15 was…

The Lizardmen Who Drink Bleach

Every now and then I still encounter someone who thinks the Dread Tyrant Trump told people to drink or inject themselves with bleach. That’s a mere annoyance: if people still believe that ridiculousness at this point, I’m obviously not going to be able to talk or write them out of it. But from time to…

Come back, Bobby Riggs, come back

“The man is king. The man is supreme.” “Women belong in the bedroom and the kitchen, in that order.” Those quotes are from U.S. tennis legend Bobby Riggs, who thought very little of women’s tennis until Billie Jean King mopped the court with him (6–4, 6–3, 6–3) in a celebrated match on a September afternoon…

Villains Wanted

The circus is coming back to town! Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer’s retirement was officially announced yesterday and Joe Biden took the opportunity to announce that by the end of February he’d appoint a black woman to replace Breyer. That’s how identity politics works. And if the president of the United States is willing to…

Lessons from the Pampas

An article published on Bloomberg this past Saturday was widely ridiculed—but for all the wrong reasons. Entitled For Americans Shocked by Inflation, Argentines Have Some Advice, the article offers a few tips for Americans coping with inflation from Argentines for whom it’s become a way of life. Number one on the list: “Spend your paycheck…

Bright Spots in Dark Days

It’s the first day of December, and we woke in darkness to a snow that’s still very lightly falling. Intermittently. It’s also already dark again. So maybe it’s not snowing anymore. I worked from home today so was able to sip my coffee while watching Youngest make her maiden attack on her Advent calendars at…

Use Mascara!

It was a refreshing three weeks of vacation. I’m tanned, rested, and ready for whatever the rest of this year wants to throw at us. (If the rest of the year is listening, that was not intended as a challenge.) We spent two weeks down in the Algarve, sunning ourselves in the Portuguese sun and…

Police Blotter

The Nordsjælland Police issued an important bulletin Saturday evening: In English: “We’re currently receiving a lot of similar reports about a group of 11 people and change having dealt a beating to a group of the same size. The crime scene was reportedly a big grass lawn, and the victims were reportedly Welsh.” Quickly followed…

On the Burning of Witches

Today is Sankt Hans Aften in Denmark: St. John’s Eve. The holiday is a celebration of John the Baptist’s birth, which the Gospel dates six months prior to Jesus’s: thus St. John’s Day is six months before Christmas. (More or less: changing calendars over the years have resulted in the slight offset.) Skt. Hans Aften…

I am Smart, Hear Me Roar

I’m smarter than you. I’m also a better person. These things go without saying, but I like to say them anyway because it makes me feel good. And because sometimes (too often) you need the reminder. This is one of those times. Never forget: I’m the one that went to the right schools, studied the…

Dillermania

Stephen, Buddy! Thanks for making time for me. I know you’re crazy busy and I don’t want to waste your time, so I’ll get right to it. I’ve got the next big thing in kiddie shows. I’m serious. This isn’t a pitch, Stevie. It’s a gift. No, you know what it is? It’s a fucking…

Grease is No Longer the Word

SPOILER ALERT: If you’ve never seen Grease, there are spoilers galore ahead, so I recommend you run along on your merry way and come back after you’ve seen it. None of this will make sense if you haven’t, anyway. TRIGGER ALERT: This piece uses words and defends ideas that people who are wounded by words…

What Lies Ahead

There’s a little bit of wordplay in the title of this post. That’s all I’m going to say about that. It’s the first day of a new year. Having failed to get my act together in time to do the Year-in-Review / Året-der-gik post with which I’d hope to close out the annus horribilis 2020,…